Hello friends. I decided to start writing again. I have no idea what this looks like yet, but I’m glad you’re here.
As far as I can tell at this moment, this is where I’ll be putting my words now. All of the old stuff still lives at i am a little church, what I have written over at Denver Moms is linked here, and since it’s been a minute, I’ve got a lot to say.
As I was reading over everything these last couple of days, I was struck by what is different and what is the same. I have lived a lot of life since the last time I wrote on my own site five years ago, and shifting into the mom-blog scene limited my subjects a bit as well. None of it’s bad, all of it is part of the story, but I felt ready now to write a new one. So here we are. Who knows what it will look like. I have two children and there’s a pandemic going on, so I make no promises.
Even though I’ve dropped i am a little church, the spirit remains. I was never sure about the legality of just slapping that at the top of my site, so my own name seemed safer. Originally I took that line from an ee cummings poem, and it is still a favorite of mine:
i am a little church(no great cathedral) – i do not worry if briefer days grow briefest,
i am not sorry when sun and rain make april
my life is the life of the reaper and the sower;
my prayers are prayers of earth’s own clumsily striving (finding and losing and laughing and crying)children whose any sadness or joy is my grief or my gladness
around me surges a miracle of unceasing
birth and glory and death and resurrection:
over my sleeping self float flaming symbols
of hope, and i wake to a perfect patience of mountains
i am a little church(far from the frantic
world with its rapture and anguish)at peace with nature – i do not worry if longer nights grow longest;
i am not sorry when silence becomes singing
winter by spring, i lift my diminutive spire to
merciful Him Whose only now is forever:
standing erect in the deathless truth of His presence (welcoming humbly His light and proudly His darkness)
I love so much about this poem, but mainly, I love how it highlights that life is not one thing, but all of them. Sun and rain. Sadness or joy; grief or gladness. Silence becomes singing. I’ve always felt comfortable in the grey, in the both, in the and. I kept finding & losing & laughing & crying because it has always felt like the most succinct way to sum things up. All of it is welcome here. I welcome humbly the light and proudly the darkness.
SO. Here we are. It’s 2020 and what is even happening at this point? I might as well write about it?